Believing in your body

I’ve been having a lot of health issues over the past years. I’ve talked openly about some and I’ve not talked about others. If I compare my mental health today to any day over the past year, I’d say it’s probably better than any of those days. It’s not quite great yet, but it’s definitely improving. A part of this is my physical health improving overtime. I’m still dealing with a very annoying issue with my health, but it’s annoying as opposed to scary and stressful, I suppose. It’s really ruining my mood, but with some of the other issues I’ve gone through I was seriously worried something was wrong and that’s not the case right now.

Most, if not all of my issues, seem to come from stress. I have no way of knowing if this is true, but most of them were deemed to be from stress and in defense of my doctor(s) they all did end up going away on their own. That doesn’t mean they were from stress, but it also means they were right to just leave it be. The most frustrating part is that it keeps being different, completely unrelated issues. I’ve been learning a little bit about the effects that stress can have on your body and it can literally do anything. It’s kind of scary honestly.

With covid having been on the radar for two years and I’ve been sitting at home with a part time job for a lot of it, things have just been rough for everyone. Now that I’m going back to teaching soon and have all my stuff in order, the stress is gone. I also don’t think my current health issue has to do with stress at least. But now that my mental health is improving steadily, I want to also feel better physically.

And that starts with living healthier. I’m trying to eat more fruit and vegetables. I know it’s a tale as old as time, but it’s true. During the pandemic my eating habits definitely got worse, and they weren’t already amazing before then. Fruit is kind of hard to get here since a lot of it is overpriced and tastes kind of bad. So I’m mainly buying pineapple and strawberries, but those are super expensive here. Luckily I now have a bit of money to spend because I saved up for the worst case scenario for next year’s internship, but everything ended up way better than expected. 

The second thing I need to do, and this is going to be the hard part, is have faith in my body. I’ve realized over time that I just don’t trust my own body anymore. Any small issue I encounter immediately rings all the alarm bells which will just make things worse than they were. What I need to do is treat small pains and itches as just that, and not something that’ll be a big issue. A lot of health can be in your head, especially things like this. Obviously real medical problems are different, but I’m not talking about those. To put it in simple words, I need to stop whining and take care of myself. 

So yeah, I just wanted to rant about this today since I didn’t know what else to talk about. I have some other posts lined up that I want to save for a rainy day, so I needed something. I’ve been writing a lot lately. Last year I was pretty down in June, and I wrote about 7000 words. As of writing this I’ve doubled that already, which is pretty cool. Maybe 300.000 words in a year is actually doable. Anyay, I’m trailing off and I got stuff to do. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it. I’ve got some fun stuff prepared, so look out for it!

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