It’s something that many of us struggle with, the dreaded backlog. This can be the movies or shows you still want to watch, the books you still want to read or the games you still want to play. There’s many other things that can be on your backlog of course, but I reckon these are likely some of the more common lists. For me, it’s mostly books and games. Like many of us, I have a habit of getting excited about a new video game coming out, buying into the hype on day one only to then get distracted and not actually play it. On this path I ended up accumulating over 50 games that I bought for full price and never properly played. With a little bit of math that quickly adds up to a painful amount of money wasted. But sure, just add it to the backlog and you’ll get to it eventually, right? Well I did!
Now, I am far from done with my backlog, but I feel quite a bit of pride for making it a lot smaller than it was. It’s down to less than 30 games by now, and still going down. I’m currently working through Super Mario RPG – which I really enjoy – and finally diving into the Path of Exile II campaign to prepare for when the game is fully released. Other entries on this list that I worked through are – in no particular order – Bastion, Transistor, Super Mario 3D world, Pokemon Scarlet, Pokemon Shining Pearl, Ori and the Blind Forest, Bioshock 1, 2 & Infinite, Tomb Raider, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Stray and still quite a few more. I had already played Bastion and Transistor on PC but wanted to play them again on my Switch. Similarly I already played Bioshock 1 and and Infinite, but I could never get Bioshock 2 to work through Games for Windows Live, so it was great experiencing that one for the first time. All three games are fantastic, but the first game in that series is still my favorite.
I’ve also made it through my entire backlog of manga, which includes Soul Eater, Frieren and Solo Leveling. I will talk about some of those in the future, but they’re all absolute bangers. I am now starting on my reading backlog, which is a lot more daunting. I think a good way to work on your backlogs is by tackling some of the easier entries first. Once you’ve committed yourself to actually completing these games and reading these books, it’s much easier to keep going and of course, you’ll realize that you put these on your to-do list for a reason; because you wanted to experience them. And if you tackle an entry on your backlog that you end up not liking, then that’s fine too, you can just stop playing it or reading it and say you gave it a good try. No point in forcing yourself through it if you’re not enjoying it.
Now, as positive as I’ve been about this journey, there is also a bit of a downside to it for me personally. As I’ve talked about before, I can be a bit compulsive when it comes to hobbies. I have no OCD, but some of the signs are there, and of course those sorts of habitual roadblocks are not uncommon among people on the spectrum. I have made lists of everything I want to complete, categorized them, looked up the hours it would take and then scheduled them as to how quickly I want to go through them. That’s very much not the best way to enjoy something and likely not a healthy way of doing things. Sometimes it has me just brute forcing my way through a game just to get it ticked off the list, or reading more or less to adhere to some strange self-enforced schedule. This is a habit I have with writing as well, and it’s similar to the reason I really dislike dropping an anime or a book halfway through, no matter how bad it is. It’s a habit I’ve desperately wanted to get rid of for years now, but without much success. There are silver linings though, as I’ve been able to at least be a little bit more efficient about it, and actually get some things done as opposed to just rewriting the list a million times without actually doing something. My hope is to complete enough of the list to no longer need to feel forced to do certain things, but I worry that’s only dealing with the symptoms, not the problem.
Oh well, either way I’ve gone back to work after a long summer break. I’m still in a little bit of a writing slump and have been for a few months, but I don’t think this longer break is bad per se. I am hoping the motivation returns to me soon though, as I still need to finish the fourth volume (as of posting this I have yet to start Friday’s chapter), and I still need to work hard on completing the finalized version of the first volume. I am slowly accepting that I might need a break next year from the main storyline of the Hesitant Hero and think of a side project to fill that spot up that I can be a bit more relaxed with. I haven’t figured it out yet though, and I have many different ideas – some of which aren’t terrible. I’ll tell you when I know for certain, but at the bare minimum I plan to keep writing in the world of Palaria, regardless of what that looks like. I also know where I want to next take Mana and Cobal, just not quite how I want them to go there yet. So a different angle might be nice.
This turned into more of a rant than I initially planned, but what else is new. Hopefully the daily rhythm of work will help me get back that motivation, and I’ll try my hardest to get the next chapter ready by Friday, but I promise you it’ll be done by the end of the week. Thanks for reading!
Opal Kaharis 