Everything’s coming up aces.
Alright, maybe the popular Panic! At the Disco song isn’t as fun and positive as the hook might make you suspect and delves into drug use and depression pretty quickly, the first two lines of the chorus do put me in a good mood, especially after this past week. And what a week it was.
When I last talked to you about work it wasn’t the best of news. My job was on the line and my boss wasn’t convinced that my teaching was up to the standard that the school promises its students. This came as quite a shock to me and of course I asked for a bit more time to show my best qualities. I was pretty convinced that my teaching was getting better rapidly as the year advanced.
So I got the offer to get another one of my lessons observed by my unit leader. On top of that, I collected feedback from the English department as well as some student feedback that I received previously that was fairly positive. Armed with those two things and a well prepared lesson which the head of the English department gave me some very valuable advice for, I was ready for round two. Round two consisted of a lesson during which my first years had to present about a country of their choice. We’d spent the previous few weeks preparing for it and on Monday I had the first batch. This went rather well, which gave me some hope for Tuesday. Tuesday came around and the lesson – of course – started off a bit more chaotic than I wanted. Two students needed my attention and I made the choice that one of their requests could wait until the end of class, since it didn’t have to do with this lesson, but the other one did require my attention. I took my student outside for a few moments and talked to him, where he explained that he wanted a different seat. He had good arguments for this, so I let him. I think that was the right call, but it did create a bit of tension in the front of the classroom with some of the kids being more distracted than usual. Despite that, I started the lesson.
The kids were brilliant. The presentations were good, with two girls even bringing candy to give to everyone. Since dolphins were common in the country they talked about – Curacao – they gave everyone a candy dolphin. You love to see it, bonus points for everyone. The head of the English department had given me the brilliant advice of making sure that the rest of the class had something to do during the presentations. So instead of staring out the window doing nothing, I had them fill in feedback forms for the ones presenting. Rewarding them a few extra points on their grade if they did so properly, the students were extra motivated and it created the perfect and safe atmosphere for everyone to do their presentations. We then had to switch activities for the second half of the lesson which was definitely a little bit more chaotic than I would have liked, but it went relatively well. Satisfied that I showed my best, I left the classroom, with a new meeting with my unit leader planned for the next day.
One thing that I have appreciated tremendously is the immense support I received from my colleagues. It’s one thing for them to say “good luck” and leave it at that. That’s perfectly fine of course, nothing wrong with that, but several of my colleagues went above and beyond. They checked in on me, gave me advice and positive reinforcement and even offered to help make sure the lesson was well prepared. That more than convinced me that I made the right choice trying to fight for this job. It also gave me confidence. I must be doing something right if everyone around me is this supportive. That doesn’t automatically mean I’m an amazing teacher, they can’t see my lessons, but it does mean that I give off the impression of someone who works hard and does their best. And I am convinced that I am working hard. I legit really enjoy my job and I want my kids to get better at English and have a good time during class.
So Wednesday came around and I walked into my unit leader’s office at 9:30 am, a little while before my first class started. I’d even prepared a whole list of arguments why I should keep my contract and had it sitting next to my nervously tapping fingers. My boss was in a good mood, which I took as a good sign. We talked a little bit about the process up until then, and how he looked at another lesson since I asked about it. He then pretty quickly informed me that he’d adjusted his decision and told me I would get rehired if I wished so. That was a load off my shoulders immediately. We then talked extensively about the lesson he observed and discussed the feedback he had. I also told him outright that I was a little bit taken off guard by his initial negative decision, since I couldn’t really agree with it. He said he was happy to hear that, because it showed my motivation. I told him that I wasn’t going to deny some of his feedback and would gladly accept the fact that I had much to learn, but I didn’t think I hadn’t grown. He agreed that with more insight and this new lesson he definitely got a more positive view on my teaching skills. He also told me that it’s quite difficult to create a safe learning atmosphere during presentations and the fact that I managed to do so showed that the children trust me and respect me. If that’s not a compliment I don’t know what is. I’m very proud of the fact that I was able to defend myself properly and focus on my good qualities instead of getting caught up in the things I have yet to get good at. I reckon being on anti-anxiety medication helped a lot in keeping me from going crazy.
To make a long story short, I’ve been offered another contract after the summer and I accepted. The plan is to turn that into a “permanent” contract after one more year. I don’t have my degree yet so they can only offer me a temporary contract regardless. I’ll still have to prove myself next year, but I’m not worried about it. I’ve learned so much this year that I’m confident I’ll be a much better teacher next year. And with great coworkers and less time to worry about my own education I’m incredibly optimistic about next year. But first, I need some rest. It’s May break for the next two weeks and I am exhausted after all that stress and worry. I’m going to do some reading and gaming and not worry about work at all. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through this little update.
Opal Kaharis 