Turning 30

Oh boy it’s finally time, isn’t it? I’m turning 30 today. For some reason we feel like we’re going to live forever when we’re young and then before we really realize it our 20s are over and we’re supposed to be adults. I think I took a wrong path somewhere in life because I don’t feel like an adult. I still live with my dad, I’m still in school and I don’t feel like I’ve made a life for myself yet. Then again, it’s not a race so what do I care?

When I was young, I had so many dreams and goals. I wanted to be a published writer by 20 and be rich by 30, spending my days in a nice house writing stories. I wanted to have a degree at uni and be happy. I’ve not quite reached any of my goals, have I? That’s something we all need to face from time to time. We can’t always reach our goals in the time we set for ourselves. That’s why we adjust. We’re very good at adjusting ourselves to the things that come our way, aren’t we. When I first set all of these goals for myself, I thought I just had a bit of untreated anxiety. I didn’t know I was on the autism spectrum. I only found out about that when I was 19 years old. That’s now over 10 years ago, that’s pretty crazy too.
The thing I look back on the most for my 20s though, is my progress. My starting point was pretty abysmal. I was depressed, had severe anxiety and didn’t leave the house much. I wasn’t doing well at school, didn’t have a job, and had no plan for the future. It took a long time for me to really get somewhere, but I now have a job, a degree while working on a second degree and I have concrete plans to make it out in the big world. I think it’s important to not compare ourselves to other people as much. It’s not a race, it’s not a competition and what is normal for other people might not be normal for us. So I guess this serves a reminder. Both to myself and to you. The way the world works is not how the world has to works and we don’t owe society an explanation for the way we live our life.

Now then, with that out of the way, let’s have a look forward. There’s things I want to do in my thirties. I finished the draft of my first real story this year. I want to have it published in my thirties. I no longer want to get super rich off of writing. I just want to write as much as I can while living a happy life. I want to read more and write more than I did in the past 10 years. I used to write and read a ton when I was young, but poor mental health and a sheer lack of focus has whittled that away and now I do it way less. Even though both are important to me.

I want to get my degree, hopefully before 2024 is over. That’s still a little while away but not that much. I want to carve out a place in this world to call my own. 

As for this blog, I’m not sure yet. In the two years I’ve been blogging now I’ve learned a lot. I’m starting to know what I like, what I don’t like and what are realistic goals. With NaNoWriMo around the corner it’s going to be a very busy time. I’m hoping to stick to roughly 3 posts a week for a while. I’m working on far too many stories at once and I doubt I’ll complete half of them in the time I want to. For now, I’ll just keep writing more and more until I write so much that I’ll be declared insane. That sounds like a pretty good goal for my 30s, does it not?
As always, thanks for reading!